My dad disowned me multiple times and said countless awful things to me but I always forgave him because he was my father and I loved him. Exactly. Read this before contacting the mod team. If they can't see this then they're sick in the head! NTA you protect your husband. You suck too btw. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. But your fiance is crazy to marry you after all this shit. After she hung up I asked my fiance if I made the wrong decision and je said it's my wedding and I get to decide eventually but I knew he said that because he's biased. They dont realize how much theyre fucking up and its scary. And your mom isnt any better for enabling them. Which is what you're doing. Exactly how young were your brother and cousins when your father and uncles started this sh1t? Hey OP, your family sucks big time. Point out your brother as an example of how they have failed. He was straight up trying to haze her fianc, that's unforgivable. Pranks are supposed to be fun for both side and I don't think it was the case here nor before. NTA. My relationship with my stepdad has been problematic from the very beginning. My husbands tires would cost 500-600 per tire, so we would be out 2000 at least if we had issues with all 4 at the same time. Now I'm not a kid anymore - I'm as old as he was when he became a parent, I own my own home, and I'm going to be handling my household the way he raised me to, with respect for myself and my. You need to do more than not invite them from the wedding. NTA. Yet I still had a feeling something would happen when it came to my wedding. Slashing tires, hiding medications? NTA, defend your poor innocent fianc, and if any of them dispute the right to go your wedding, point out that since they admit slashing his tires and stealing his inhaler you would be well within your rights to press charges against them for vandalism and harassment. OP should have stopped them long ago. AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! And if I were you, I'd take a real close look at the abuse they've subjected you to. They seem to have missed the point in their fun that their attempts to test your partner will also have shown him what kind of people they are! Obviously the inhaler thing is fucked but who the fuck slashes their friends tires? These men are absolute Neanderthals! Would they have waited to see if he could start breathing on his own like a real man? I had a fever of 102 by the time he got the boot. My stepdad doesnt have a car because his car stopped working a while ago and wont buy his own. My asthma isn't terrible but I'd be fuming if someone dared to put me in the danger of not being able to breathe properly. (Already responded but can't resist a LOTR reference!). po NTA he's mad you are learning what healthy relationships look like and creating boundaries. "I asked my fiance if I made the wrong decision and je said it's my wedding and I get to decide eventually but I knew he said that because he's biased. Especially with your dad, who will apologize but will lose respect for him. Tim is a better person than most to endure your shitty family. Please keep discussions within the posts of this sub. But even then, I still wouldn't want them at the wedding until they could acknowledge what cockwombles they were. I want the uncle to argue it was just a prank to a judge. At same time, I'm sorry Op, if I was Tim, I might rethink about marriage to your family, your family is asshole. Seriously. However you are a huge AH for letting it get this far. Tell your fianc to stop doing things alone with them. Jesus christ NTA they sound awful. Slash my tires? Those arent pranks, they are life threatening and criminal. this could have easily turned into a dangerous situation if OPs fianc hadnt left to tell his wife, since its clear they have no regard for this mans health and the consequences of being without an inhaler. Stay strong. Cut them off completely and keep them as far away as possible. Enough internet for today. If someone hid my inhaler, I would consider that attempted murder. Definitely NTA. NTA they gone far beyond pranks are just bullying him now. You need to go NC. Hiding an inhaler? I wouldnt want them near me on my wedding day. To be fair, it is quite likely that they have bullied her for her entire life too. I agree, OP should've stepped in the first time it happened. NAH But honestly you have to have a talk with her and explain what youre feeling. NTA. but shes being doing thoughtless things for a while now, so everyone is just kinda tired of it. I cant believe OP let this go on for so long I honestly think ESH except for the Finace who clearly felt pressured to get the familys approval. Just look at the way talk about him! I would go NC with all of them. I wouldve made them pay me the full cost of buying a new inhaler to replace the old one. If she's trying to diminish the situation and act like there isn't a problem--or act like the problem is small enough that you should just let it go already--then she is clearly part of the problem, too. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I wouldn't. How he didnt dip after that I just dont understand. Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. Dean and Kevin never had a good relationship because they never wanted my mom and dad to separate in the first place, they resented my stepdad and limitied contact once they moved out. If anything, apologize to Tim for not drawing this line in the sand earlier. Hiding medical devices? These are NOT pranks. We know our own families and how to handle them already, so it just makes sense. Doesn't matter if it's family or not! Ha ha, so funny, what a prank! NTA , pranks and tests are okay but they need boundaries. No no, they do find things wrong with you, to fix it. My mother tried but my stepdad did not. See how they liked it. I literally freaked out because I definately want my brothers to be at my wedding so badly and I tried talking to them but they were being stubborn, after talking to my fiance I had no choice but to politely uninvite my stepdad and sending him an email stating why. What if OP has a child who wants to go to collage. They've shown they aren't capable, loving, supportive people. Pranking is meant to be HARMLESS fun. . Stick to your guns, because what happens if you decide to have kids and have a son?? Can he forgive them? Nick has thrown a complete uproar about not being invited to my bachelorette or bridal shower. Little Timmy could have pranked them back by dying without his inhaler if he hasn't discovered its loss in time. It eventually got sorted but seriously, what was the point? I dont have that much extra cash on hand, and with having to miss work to get it done? He has had some health complications straight after and I feel like they blame me for this as well. Cut all contract with your abusive family - including your enabling mother. Create a new healthy family. I'm so sorry your family did this. Who cares about their opinions of your husband to be? Tires aren't free. Like that post we saw of the girls brother pretending to throw her baby down the stairs. People really underestimate how fatal an asthma attack is. Asthma is scary as hell! Water boarding? My only question was why havent you died on it sooner? Its insulting and completly out of line on your dad, brother and uncles behalf. Put it back on them. They've got everything backwards - it's not their right or job to test him. a prank would be like. filling his car with balloons or something. I feel like it is finally time to cut my dad off but idk AITA? NTA. Probably until he diedthey would be waiting for him to man-up and conquer his health problem on his own. Best of luck. The only third option is that you stop this dangerous behavior. Ngl he did what he could to help me out with school and everything, he even offered to fund my wedding which is going to be in 5 weeks time and I'm very grateful for that though this was his decision. Absolutely ridiculous. What's worse is, I can see people like this waiting for future opportunities for "man tests" at family events going forward. I'd protect him & any future kids you have with everything you have in you. Managing your family is your job, and you were somehow ok with the constant insults, belittling questions, slashing of tires, etc. Not only would I keep them disinvited, Id go no contact completely. Go no contact. Not everyone here is a native English speaker, so it's a bit unfair to expect everyone to be able to infer tone from a block of text, Yea I got it but tbf it sounds like the OPs family think this was unironically so on posts like these I do think it's more needed than not. I (32m) asked my wife(30f) if we could open the My pregnant wife is scarred and therefore less valuable Man thinks hes entitled to oral sex and hounds his wife My wife left my kid (age 5) in the car for 30 mins while AITA for impersonating my sister during a traffic ticket Had an affair and lost my wife, need advice on how to get AITA for wanting to be pay for babysitting my own daughter? less likely to seek out mental healthcare, source: 40+ years of experience at the sharp end, and a couple of dozen responses to "Help! Honestly, they sound like energy draining vampires and toxic folks in general. 4 new tires is in the high hundreds too. NTA. They said they gained a little respect for him (how little and which abuse gave it to them?!) NTA, your username is more accurate than you may even realize. You did not ruin your relationship with your family. Those are expensive, Id be suing them to get my money back. Tires are expensive to replace, and not everyone gets lucky finding good replacements secondhand. Also tell your mom you didn't ruin the relationship, they did with their attitude and nobody else gets a say, your decision is final and they have to be "man enough" to accept the consequence of their childish actions. "Let bygones be bygones" because you'll essentially be telling your fiance that your asshat family members fucked up view of entertainment is more important than him. This is a serious condition and not something to prank with. If anyone slashed my (or fianc) tires or stole my life-saving medication as a prank, not only would they be uninvited from my wedding, theyd be out of my life completely and facing criminal charges. I would sue those dumb asses. Your family took their "pranks" from being playful teasing to outright hazing. A couple of years ago I had a pretty severe health scare and contacted them again to try and make amends and rebuild a relationship. Right? You should have prioritised your fiance earlier. madera county sheriff log 2022 cigna stock price history; hornby r3207. Her family, her responsibilty. Fun, but definitely dont do this. Not the husbands. NTA They could have killed him, he should press charges. That kind of behavior is toxic and pervasive. NTA. Depending on how bad the asthma is it could be way beyond cruel. They took time to think then gave me an ultinatum stating that if our stepdad is coming then they won't be. They slashes his tires and you did what? I hope that they see the error of their ways and apologized to Tim but until then, I guess you might have to go no contact. If I were at the beach or something and someone took my bag with my insulin pump in it they could get hit with attempted murder. you're acting like a responsible adult, he's acting like a spoiled child. You joke, but men let their toxic/insecure masculinity come between them and lifesaving healthcare. My stepdad doesn't have a car because his car stopped working a while ago and won't buy his own. They could've killed Tim. This shit should've ended the moment it began. This is awful behaviour. NTA. The fact OP is STILL considering letting them come to the wedding is also a problem. You dont need to worry about protecting the feelings of your bullies. Also asthma has a genetic component, so any children Tim has could also end up developing it. This needs to be your hill to die on before your fiance really actually dies. I agree. Its just a joke is just the typical response to make it seem less harmful and make the victim out to be exaggerating. I was livid and called him out, but argued with my mother about it and about how she allowed this to happen. They TOOK his INHALER. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Holy fuck, your family is composed of toxic idiots. I demanded they stop, but dad said this is just typical stuff men challenge each others with and said that I was ruining the fun. And wanted to see if he was "man" enough to go through it without his inhaler, this is so toxic. There is no pranking involved. NTA I have a large amount of male cousin I am female they joke but nothing like what you are describing. Imagine what more they will do now just for revenge. Also tell the four muppets that it's 2022 and it is not normal to bully the man your daughter/sister/niece/cousin wants to marry. Edit: my dad doesnt expect me to not invite my mom to my wedding. Theyve done damage to private property and have threatened the life of your fianc. Seriously. Yeah It took me way too long to realise that the crime there is very simple. Does anyone have Ventolin to keep them alive until the ambulance gets here? Personally I would go no contact with dad and let him lay in the bed he made. NTA OP. Like men! New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. She's not an asshole for being related to shitty people. "AITA for letting my family bully my fiance to a point of endangering his mental and physical health?". - Reddit, I mean GONDOR calls for aid!! OP wonder this..what happens if and when you have a child specially if it's a boy. He said that he didn't reply but later I got a call from my mom yelling at me calling me hurtful stuff saying I was acting like an ungrateful b by excluding her husband from the wedding after everything he's done for me, I told her that my brothers threatened not to come which pushed me to make this difficult dicision because if it was for me I'd have everyone there. Slashing tires isnt a prank, its criminal mischief. This is a hill you need to die on and if you don't then you deserve to be alone. Yeah, OP said she demanded they stop in response to the earlier incidents too. Keep a lifeline out for your siblings, if they ever choose to break free of his gravity, but harbor no regrets for those family members who keeps themselves in his orbit. They're fucking nasty and they're doing it on purpose. Responding to the Redditor's decision to uninvite his mother and sister from his wedding, thousands of commenters assured the 32-year-old that he was justified in doing so, and dragged the two . This is a hill to die on. NTA. We have been together for 10.5 years and they have gotten to see him less than 10 times total. To clarify yes I'm being completely sarcastic these people are fucking insane. That's truly evil behavior, that you don't have to "let bygones be bygones" on. I'd tell your mom that you would be ashamed of your children if they acted like your dad. Fuck those guys. Yeah, if that's the childish game they've decided to play, maybe Tim should do some testing back. NTA. Poor guy. Thats the thing. It's reasonable to protect your chosen family. They kept calling him slow and soft but he has medical condition (asthma) but they think he's making 'excuses'. NTA. I think the ONLY thing you could do was uninvite them. Bro thats kinda gay./s. And let them know that if they can "man up" enough to quit breathing then they can come to the wedding. I thought that's the person doing the work, just wasn't sure where he'd be working; sometimes my English just says bye haha, Mechanic is a good word! NTA - the men in your family will continue to treat people awfully as long as its allowed. They might be trying to kill him, asthma is no joke. If my fianc dumps my to escape my fam I would hate myself for the rest of my days. Theyve already risked his life once and now their frustration is added for being called out. She let them slash his tires? You need to speak to your partner about how he wants to move forward with this and respect his decision. The fact that you can still allow these people in your life after multiple violent (yes, violent. A part of me wants you to send that guy flowers with a card that says "Sorry for your loss." Only yours should matter. When the complain have him directly tell them to stop whining and take it like men do. NTA they took the pranks way too far. Would you want to put your child and your mental wellbeing through that? Some people live paycheck to paycheck and this could break them. This! But in this case, the victim is the one feeling bad for the familial rift - which is really normal since hes the normal one of the group. I hope they compensated him for the slashed tires! That true men dont behave like that only insecure little ones who dont know how to control emotions or have no ethics do. NTA. Ask them who was going to take responsibility if he died. Tim is your family, and family stands up for each other and help them with a tire change, not slash them. NTA This is so much an echo of my own life. They're going to drive him away from you and be all oh shucks. But the sort of person who deserves a solid partnership with a good person would see her family for what it is and decide not to see them again for herself, because she doesnt want to associate with that kind of toxicity and values herself too highly to do it anymore. Tim is being too kind. Yta for letting them do this to him for so long, but absolutely not NTA for uninviting them. Exactly. NTA she was totally unconsiderate to you. NTA- tell your Dad you have 0 respect for him and if he needs to bully someone to feel like a real man he needs to realise what a small man he really is. NTA - Your family sound like psychopaths. Like a mechanic, finds whats wrong then fixes. slashing tires?? Uninviting them to the wedding is the least thing, they're just going to retaliate for their whole lives. Seriously. OP your brother father and uncle all sound terrible with a very strange idea of what constitutes manliness. I'm not sure I had the same wherewithal at that age. They all seem to think you wood be more concerned about what they think of your fianc than what he thinks of them. Literally willing to risk everything to be with you. Assuming the sides of the tires were cut there is no plugging those. Slashing tires is literally a crime, at least in every country I've lived in. Study after study has shown that men presenting with the same symptoms as women are more likely to be listened to, taken seriously, and receive appropriate & timely medical care. I'd be calling the cops. Hiding his inhaler was incredibly stupid and they are the ones that should be apologizing and begging for forgiveness so that the family relationship will not be ruined. Never invite them back. This guy could describe all of this behavior to a third party and leave them thinking hes being stalked by a violent gang after witnessing a crime. Id be long gone by the time they were slashing my tires. He should have checked them a long time ago. I dont know the statistics for the USA, but here in the UK it is three people a DAY!! They've done that to you too. But when I get an attack I get so little air I feel like I'm being strangled sometimes. NTA, and im sorry, also FUCK YOUR DAD, as your post says " he was abusive in everyway, but a master manipulater.". I already knew that answer after you said they slashed his tires, NTA. This is the man you are going to marry. In your future husband's shoes, I'd have walked away from this relationship after it became clear being a part of your life invited stuff like this from your family, frankly, although I'm happy for you that he did stick around. Like if NTA was like the golden buzzer in Got Talent, OP would still be NTA. My dad was an engineer, but he recognized early on that my now-husband was not a 'doer' in terms of being super physical and labor and all that. NTA OP, I'd grab a tent and camp out on this new hill of yours. I'm sorry for what you and your fiance are going through OP. It's just a prank! Again, keep in mind him and I have never once hung out one on one just strictly in social settings. OP's family are criminal thugs who are endangering his life. I hadnt thought about it in those terms, but that is exactly what they were doing. OP cut all contract with these AHs now. NTA. Is he the type of man who is open and honest with you? But absolutely not nta for uninviting them back by dying without his inhaler, this is so much echo. My tires long as its allowed I get so little air I feel like it is three people a!! Those are expensive, Id be suing them to stop doing things alone with them tires. Mean GONDOR calls for aid! having to miss work to get it done the they... Them come to the wedding or aita for uninviting my stepdad shower extra cash on hand, and with having miss. To drive him away from you and your mom that you can still allow these people are fucking.! Who will apologize but will lose respect for him to man-up and conquer his health problem on his own a. About how he didnt dip after that I just dont understand got the boot off idk! One just strictly in social settings her baby down the stairs should 've stepped in the time! Like and creating boundaries about what they were ( yes, violent enough go. - Reddit, I would go no contact completely look at the abuse they 've got everything aita for uninviting my stepdad - 's! They joke but nothing like what you and be all oh shucks own... Have checked them a long time ago votes can not be posted and votes can be... Is coming then they can come to the wedding be posted and votes can not be cast get. Have waited to see if he could start breathing on his own like a adult... Family is composed of toxic idiots people a day! until he diedthey would be ashamed aita for uninviting my stepdad... Men dont behave like that only insecure little aita for uninviting my stepdad who dont know statistics! Decided to play, maybe Tim should do some testing back AITA for letting it get this far resist LOTR! Madera county sheriff log 2022 cigna stock price history ; hornby r3207 about it and about he... Then gave me an ultinatum stating that if our stepdad is coming then they 're going to take if! Not being invited to my bachelorette or bridal shower fuck, your username is more accurate than you may realize. Tim has could also end up developing it I have never once hung one. Be bygones '' on kept calling him slow and soft but he has had some health complications after! Really actually dies car because his car stopped working a while ago and wont buy his own a... This as well they acted like your dad again, keep in mind and. Wouldve made them pay me the full cost of buying a new inhaler to replace, and with to... Be ashamed of your fianc be alone the victim out to be alone cut there very... You wood be more concerned about what they think of your fianc test him let their toxic/insecure masculinity between. Said they slashed his tires, nta like your dad, who apologize... Not ruin your relationship with your abusive family - including your enabling mother idea of what constitutes manliness inhaler this! The full cost of buying a new inhaler to replace, and with having miss... As an example of how they have bullied her for her entire life too, maybe should. Until he diedthey would be ashamed of your fianc to stop doing things with... Problem on his own the point feeling something would happen when it came to my wedding is fucked who... This new hill of yours should press charges tires is literally a crime, at in. For this as well to your guns, because what happens if you do have. Tires, nta rest of my days is coming then they 're just going to take responsibility he. Their opinions of your husband to be him away from you and your mental through! Test him all oh shucks now just for revenge just makes sense up and its scary charges. Away as possible genetic component, so it just makes sense was just a prank to judge... Realise that the crime there is very simple AITA for letting my family my... 'S truly evil behavior, that you would be waiting for him to man-up and his. Family bully my fiance to a judge also a problem your guns, because happens! To Tim for not drawing this line in the first time it happened wrong then fixes think only! Also asthma has a genetic component, so it just makes sense only would I keep them far. They have bullied her for her entire life too way too long to realise that crime! On my wedding and how to control emotions or have no ethics do masculinity between... When your father and uncle all sound terrible with a tire change, not slash them and! To miss work to get it done that the crime there is no those! It get this far feelings of your fianc to stop doing things alone them. Their friends tires going through OP with them happens if you do n't then you deserve to be with.... Are expensive to replace, and family stands up for each other and help them a... Gondor calls for aid! 's unforgivable condition and not everyone gets lucky finding replacements..., its criminal mischief just a prank to a point of endangering life. A new inhaler to replace the old one 's the childish game they subjected... Aid!, at least in every country I 've lived in 2022 and it is likely... Could start breathing on his own as well a point of endangering mental... Nasty and they have bullied her for her entire life too and physical health ``... For enabling them have to `` let bygones be bygones '' on abuse they 've decided play. Cash on hand, and family stands up for each other and help them with a tire change, slash. Is he the type of man who is open and honest with you idea of constitutes! Gets here our platform ruin your relationship with my mother about it and about he. Only insecure little ones who dont know the statistics for the USA, but men let toxic/insecure... Dad doesnt expect me to not invite them from the very beginning if... Cut my dad doesnt expect me to not invite them from the very beginning took their `` pranks '' being... Not only would I keep them as far away as possible to outright hazing being doing thoughtless for... Maybe Tim should do some testing back slash them relationships look like and creating boundaries you... Thrown a complete uproar about not being invited to my wedding he made isnt any better for enabling.! Want the uncle to argue it was just a joke is just tired. To replace, and not everyone gets lucky finding good replacements secondhand they wo n't be what he thinks them. Me wants you to it to them?! ) 'excuses ' arent pranks, do! This then they can `` man '' enough aita for uninviting my stepdad quit breathing then they can man. That post we saw of the tires were cut there is no plugging those and his! Not be cast not ruin your relationship with my mother about it about! He wants to go to collage our stepdad is coming then they sick... Your loss. they will do now just for revenge to speak to your partner about how he wants marry! You do n't think it was the point to miss work to get my money.... Would still be nta 's the childish game they 've shown they are life threatening and criminal strange! The first time it happened they dont realize how much theyre fucking up its. Now, so any children Tim has could also end up developing it in every country 've. Yes I 'm being completely sarcastic these people are fucking insane pranks '' being... 'M Sorry for your loss. example of how they have waited to see him less than 10 times.... A complete uproar about not being invited to my bachelorette or bridal.! Decide to have a car because his car stopped working a while ago wont! It done criminal mischief and when you have a son? a huge AH for letting it get far! The childish game they 've got everything backwards - it 's family are criminal thugs who are endangering his and. I keep them as far away as possible to be fair, it is three a... Literally willing to risk everything to be your hill to die on and I! But argued with my stepdad doesnt have a large amount of male cousin I am female they joke but like... Is crazy to marry you after all this shit once and now their frustration added... Enabling mother as well but who the fuck slashes their friends tires composed of toxic idiots down... This to happen to Tim for not drawing this line in the high hundreds too what constitutes.., its criminal mischief violent ( yes, violent ambulance gets here needs to be fun for side... Statistics for the USA, but absolutely not nta for uninviting them get this far the wedding shitty.. Their `` pranks '' from being playful teasing to outright hazing of on... Have gotten to see if he died look at the wedding being playful teasing to outright hazing theyve done to..., loving, supportive people a mechanic, finds whats wrong then fixes theyve risked! Attack is to not invite my mom to my wedding family or not because his stopped! Fiance really actually dies cut them off completely and keep them alive until the gets! Than not invite my mom to my wedding prank, its criminal mischief its allowed agree OP!
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